Like Alien, Like Duckling
by Dragon's Ember
Summary: Nosedive helps out a little friend.


"I don't think you understand what I'm saying," said Nosedive. "If they just reshaped the burger into a hot dog and threw some condiments on it, it'd be just like eating a hot dog and a burger _at the same time_. Can you imagine the possibilities of that?"

"Believe it or not, I can, and they're all weird," Wildwing replied. He and Nosedive were walking past Anaheim Park on their way back to the Pond, and Nosedive currently had about a dozen new comic books tucked under his arm, courtesy of Thrash and Mookie.

"Well, I'm gonna try it. Who knows? Maybe it'll go into mass production someday, all because of yours truly."

"You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"

"Hey, I like Earth food. I mean, it's all full of nasty stuff I don't even wanna know about, but it tastes good, right?"

"You got me there, bro."

"Man, now I'm hungry."

"We just ate."

"Well, I'm still– Shh!"

"What?"

"Shh! Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Nosedive said nothing, and Wildwing listened. There was a very faint peeping sound coming from somewhere down the street. "That," said Nosedive.

"The peeping?"

"Yeah."

"It's probably just a bird."

Intrigued, Nosedive followed the noise, Wildwing followed Nosedive, and they ended up at a storm drain on the edge of the street. Nosedive crouched down and tried to see through the grating. "Hello?" There was more peeping. "There's something down there," he told Wildwing. "Here, hold these."

Before Wildwing had time to object, Nosedive handed his comics to him and started pulling on the rusted grating. It didn't budge. "I think it's stuck," he said, straining. Wildwing sighed, tucked Nosedive's comics under one arm and pulled on the grating with the other. It came off with a loud creak, prompting another fit of peeping from the drain. Nosedive peered down into the darkness, and his heart melted at the sight of the tiny duckling staring back up at him, peeping frantically. "Aww!"

"What is it?"

"It's a baby Earth-duck."

"Can you reach it?"

Nosedive leaned down into the drain as far as he could, reaching for the helpless duckling. "No. I think I can fit, though."

"Wait, wait, wait," Wildwing said suddenly. "What if it falls into the pipe?"

"Oh, uh..." Nosedive retracted his hand and looked around. Seeing nothing useful except for his comics and his vest, he took off his vest and leaned over the drain again. "Watch out, little guy." He dropped his vest over the drain in the center of the basin, and the duckling backed into a corner. "Hold on, buddy, I'll get you out. Wing, lower me down."

"Can't you just climb in?"

"It's too small. I don't want to step on him."

"Uh..." Wildwing scanned the street for traffic. "Okay." He set Nosedive's comics on the sidewalk, then lifted him up by the ankles – a feat he had mastered since Nosedive was a toddler. "Grab it fast," he said, lowering him down carefully. Nosedive reached for the duckling, and it scuttled away in terror.

"Come on, buddy. I'm trying to help you out."

"Hurry up, Dive," Wildwing urged as Nosedive made more swipes at the panicked duckling.

"Come on, little dude, come on. I'm getting dizzy here."

After a few more attempts, he managed to grab the tiny bird, which squirmed in protest. Nosedive grinned and scooped up his vest with his free hand. "I got him."

Wildwing pulled him back up. A minute later Nosedive was nuzzling the duckling on the sidewalk as Wildwing replaced the grating and picked up his comics. "You're safe now, little buddy," Nosedive told the duckling. "I'll take care of you."

"So, what are you gonna do with him now?" Wildwing asked him, already knowing what was going through his brother's head.

"Uh, well," Nosedive said slowly, "I was kind of thinking–"

"You can't keep him."

"But look at him! He looks just like me."

Wildwing looked at the fluffy duckling with its little beak and bright, innocent eyes. In an odd way, it almost did remind him of Nosedive. Almost. "We're still not keeping him."

"Well, what are we supposed to do with him?"

Wildwing shot a pointed look at the park – the enormous park they had been standing in front of for several minutes, which Nosedive was now purposely ignoring. "The park is right there," Wildwing said. "I'm sure that's where his family is."

"You don't know that."

"Don't you think we should look?"

Nosedive glowered at him, then eyed the duckling sympathetically. "Fine," he mumbled. "Take this, then." He gave his damp vest to Wildwing and headed for the park entrance, caressing the duckling like he had hatched it himself.

"Why am I carrying all your stuff, again?" Wildwing complained as he followed him.

"'Cause I'm carrying the baby," Nosedive replied, and Wildwing just rolled his eyes.

They scoured the park, which was home to plenty of ducks, as usual, but was strangely lacking in ducklings. Wildwing searched along the stream banks while Nosedive wandered in random directions with the duckling cradled in his hand.

Eventually, Wildwing found a pair of mallards in a creek with a raft of ducklings swimming behind them. He went off in search of Nosedive and found him dozing under a tree with the duckling perched happily on his chest. Wildwing wasn't surprised.

He wasn't annoyed, either.

Smiling at the picture of adorable irony, he went and stood over his brother. Nosedive opened his eyes, looked slightly embarrassed, then smirked. "Did you find anything?" he asked innocently.

"Yeah, I did," said Wildwing. "How about you?"

"I don't think I need to answer that."

Nosedive got up and followed Wildwing to the family of mallards. The duckling peeped curiously as it caught sight of them, and Nosedive frowned. "You think that's his family?"

"Well, there's only one way to find out."

Nosedive regarded the duckling he had just rescued, then snuggled it under his chin and gave Wildwing the most pleading look he could manage.

"We're not keeping him," Wildwing said. "Give him back to his family."

Nosedive sighed and gently placed the duckling in the water. "Bye-bye, little guy."

It took a moment to process its new surroundings, then swam to the other ducklings as fast as its tiny legs allowed. The mother mallard eyed it, seemingly confused. Then she nuzzled it and continued floating carelessly by her mate.

"See? Everyone's happy," said Wildwing. "You did a good thing."

"Yeah, yeah. I hate doing good things."

"Do you wanna watch him for a while?"

Nosedive watched the duckling mingle into the mass of brown and yellow fluff, peeping happily, and a little smile crept onto his beak. "Nah, let's just go."

"We can stay if you want."

"No, I'm good. And I'm still hungry. Stay ducky, you little mutants." Nosedive waved, Wildwing rolled his eyes again, and the ducks in the creek paid no mind to their alien counterparts as they left the park.

"He was so cute," Nosedive said. "I could've called him... Steve."

"Don't worry, Dive. Someday you'll marry a nice girl, have a bunch of little ducks–"

"But I want Earth-ducks."

Wildwing cocked an eyebrow, amused, knowing he was completely serious. "Okay, well, you never know, then." He gave Nosedive back his comics and soiled vest, then threw his arm over his brother's shoulders. "Now, tell me more about this hot dog burger idea."

"I'm glad you asked, 'cause I was thinking... what if we added pizza?"

"Okay, don't get crazy, Dive."


End file.
